Why Avatar is Making Americans Stupid

For the record, I like Avatar. I thoroughly enjoyed James Cameron’s latest opus throughout its two and a half hours of visual onslaught. Avatar is a beautiful, bright, shiny and relatively mindless film, similar to many other things Americans love. It has turned out to be one of those “event” movies which draw people to theaters who do not normally go, similar to Cameron’s previous effort Titanic and another modern classic, Home Alone. Not admitting to paying for Home Alone? You lie! As a society, we tend to jump on the proverbial bandwagon when a story gets so absolutely huge it is nearly impossible to avoid conversing about it. We do this with the Super Bowl, American Idol, Snuggies and especially politics. It’s interesting as long as it’s interesting to everyone else. When everyone else has officially thrown the subject into “lameness” (see Home Alone, Barack Obama), the follower does the same. In the case of Avatar, however, succumbing to the hype might be more dangerous than Dick Cheney stuck on Pandora.

The main appeal of Avatar lies in the groundbreaking cinematography and 3-D camerawork, the likes of which has never been seen in the history of cinema. The last year or so has seen several films test the 3-D waters in anticipation of Cameron’s movie. A remake of My Bloody Valentine, the Neil Gaiman scripted Coraline, Monsters Vs Aliens and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs showed the appeal - and lack thereof – 3D technology presents. Coraline and “Meatballs” did well in theaters showing the traditional, 2-D versions as well as the enhanced product. “Valentine” was strictly and exercise in scaring in 3-D and it achieved its modest expectations. Monsters Vs Aliens was predicted to be one of the biggest blockbusters of 2009, yet failed to yield big numbers. “Monsters” was the first film of the modern 3-D era to have been filmed with the sole intent of selling the 3-D version. The film featured many scenes designed with the idea that audiences love STUFF FLYING IN THEIR FACE VERY FAST. It did not occur to the producers audiences, even children, might value plot in an era of Pixar masterpieces. Instead, MORE STUFF FLYING EVEN FASTER IN A MORE MONOTONOUS WAY THAN THE FIRST TIME. Repeat. Repeat. END OF FILM. Interestingly, DreamWorks Studio did not hype the DVD release of “Monsters” as much as one would expect from a big budget animated film. Perhaps the upcoming 3-D Shrek movie in 2010 foretells more than the company would care to let on.

The 3-D technology in Avatar is far superior than any used in the aforementioned films. Unlike DreamWorks, Cameron knew the film had to stand on its own from a directorial and traditional 2-D viewpoint. There is little argument left as to if he succeeded. Avatar will gross more than a billion dollars, enough cash to liberate oppressed civilizations in the real world. Cameron also spent the last ten years or so developing an executing the project. He had total control over the film and chose to stake his career on Avatar’s success or failure. Avatar’s triumph, commercially and critically, has thrown the entertainment media into a 3-D frenzy. But has Avatar’s success doomed not only the film industry but also the economic recovery of America?

The admission price to the 3-D Avatar at my local movie house was thirteen bucks, a five-dollar increase from the normal eight-dollar charge. My Adam Koeppe simple math shows a 39 percent extra dip into the pocketbook to see the film in glorious 3-D. I don’t know about you boys and girls, but that’s a hefty price jack where I come from. For a family of four that’s twenty extra bucks. At least the popcorn didn’t come with 3-D salt and butter. Although worth it, the Avatar experience is a spendy one for many Americans. The fallout from Avatar’s success has shown a public hungry for more. ESPN has recently announced they will produce a 3-D sports channel which will show the 2010 World Cup. The media salivates.
SOCCER! 3-D!
3-D! SOCCER! WORLD CUP!
YEAH!!!

As the public celebrates the upcoming development of 3-D television, nobody has bothered to ask the question: What will 3-D soccer look like? Will it enhance the experience so much that the channel is worth subscribing to (believe me, true believers, they’re gonna charge) and also purchasing one of the handful of ginormous TV’s capable of broadcasting said soccer games? Currently, the general opinion of the public is yes. Because everything is going to look as cool as Avatar. This general euphoria is convincing many TV manufacturers to furiously work of a way to present 3-D images without having to don those stylish shades. Without a doubt, they will succeed. The potential of selling millions of TV’s to a public that has recently forked over a few paychecks for HD widescreens is far too tempting to resist. Efforts are underway to remake classic films such as Star Wars to fit the format. As if buying the Star Wars films on VHS, remastered on VHS, extended on VHS, on DVD unextended, DVD extended, and Blu-Ray unextended and extended. That’s not even accounting for how many times people saw them in the movie theater. When my Adam Koeppe simple math adds this up, that’s more than 300 bucks spent on the same bloody films! Yet many are hungry for more. Is the 3-D Star Wars going to have Luke’s hand fly in my face when Darth Vader whacks it off? Will it give me the feeling of AT-AT’s stomping on to my sofa? Will the Cantina scene give me the feeling of an intergalactic dance party right in my own house? Answer I will, young consumers. No.

A 3-D reimagining (or whatever you want to call it) of Star Wars, Lord of the Rings or the Matrix will just give you a visual experience similar to that of the old Viewmaster discs: a super-position of one image in front of the other. That’s it. The films were made with a 2-D wall. I’m sure the geniuses in charge will try to make the jump into hyperspace more trippy but is that worth the purchase of an entire new entertainment system? A few thousand bucks to see a few enhanced segments? The current consensus is yes. We want to see STAR WARS AVATAR! LORD OF THE RINGS AVATAR! MATRIX AVATAR! SAW AVATAR! HANGOVER AVATAR! HAROLD AND KUMAR AVATAR! Americans have always been in love with possibility more than reality and having as opposed to having not. There is little evidence suggesting the 3-D craze will be any different.

My magic crystal dodgeball stares into the future and sees a few unfortunate blows to the financial groin. Many Americans will go into super-nasty credit card debt to become a super-cool 3-D household. This type of TV upgrade is not cheap and there are very few who can honestly afford it, considering they are still paying off their 60-inch plasmas. Yet millions will buy, unfortunately proving our society has learned absolutely nothing about financial restraint in the face of economic hardship. Laid off from a secure job? WHO CARES? 3-D! Retirement eradicated by Wall Street? WHO CARES? 3-D!! Your children’s college education? 3-D! 3-D!! Over the top, blowhard attitudes are exactly what thrust our country into our economic mess. Real estate for profit? 3-D! Debt? What debt? 3-D!!!

Most important, companies will use this lunacy to bombard our despised banks with requests for loans on unproven products. Despite wanted or unwanted regulation, lenders will be pushed into billions of dollars of lending to finance the production of these electronics. Imagine, if you will: a cell-phone company wants fifty million dollars to develop the first 3-D smart phone. That’s crazy, the loan officer replies. Who wants to watch a 3-D image smaller than a baseball card? Contrary to popular sanity, that loan will happen. Who’s going to say no to 3-D!! I’d stake my entire 3-D baseball card collection on it. Believe it or not, I have quite a few.

There will be at least one movie studio that will also believe this fallacy. The grand poobahs will decree they will make the biggest, largest, most-bestest 3-D movie ever! They will hire a crack team of fifty writers to write it. They will hire a great director like Brett Ratner, McG or Michael Bay to make it so. They’ll be more people involved in this production than the Olympics. It will be re-written by James Patterson, James Frey and the band James. It will be about some big thing that has yet to be big enough so it has to be bigger – in 3-D! It will be bigger than life! Big! Big! Big! And it will fail. Horribly. Horribly, horribly. Heaven’s Gate failed and who could have doubted Michael Cimino’s talent after The Deer Hunter? The concept of Cinemascope failed with Cleopatra, directed by Joseph Mankiewicz who helmed films such as All About Eve. When the 3-D movie of doom strikes, it will be harsh. Cleopatra came close to destroying 20th Century Fox. The failure of Heaven’s Gate bankrupted United Artists. The 3-D hype will destroy at least one company, possibly more.

Remember 8-tracks? Beta-max? Mini-discs? Laser-discs? TurboGraphix-16? Dreamcast? You don’t? You Lie! We’ve all invested our money in something that didn’t pan out be it technology or even a relationship. For all our enthusiasm, there still has to be something – or someone to blame for the fallout. There are few people who have the testicular fortitude to admit they were wrong. I still thing the Sega Dreamcast kicks major butt over PS2, Game Cube and Xbox. Someone usually has to take the fall because it sure wasn’t our fault.

When 3-D busts, the movie studios will do what they do best: blame someone else. They’ll drag Sean Astin, the fat hobbit himself, back on the Academy Awards telling why piracy is still the scourge of the film industry – even after successes like Avatar. Americans who spent buttloads of money on 3-D televisions and DVD players that are the equivalent of Atari 5200s will do what they do best: blame someone else. Maybe we will blame the President, whoever he or she may be. Maybe we’ll blame the companies who sold us this 3-D super-awesome stuff because it wasn’t that super-fantastically-awesome. We might blame our kids who wanted it all so bad for Christmas we had to mortgage the house to provide it. We might even blame Satan for our debt. It’s a better alternative than reality. From the days of the crusades to the days of colonization to the days of the Gold Rush, it’s never our fault when the tide turns.

When we fail, it is in our nature to push the “reset” button. Just one more chance and we can do it a little better. We seriously need to stop this. Life has no reset and there are no guarantees of extra chances. Sometimes the movie sucks, the concert blows or the love affair wasn’t meant to be. Failures, as hard as they come, need to be admitted and learned from. If we don’t, we’re just another footnote in an never-ending addendum of excuses. If we embrace 3-D, we learn nothing from economics. We are just pushing “rewind,” expecting the movie to end better. Eventually, the film stops and there is a blank screen. What happens next? The remote – and your life – is in your hands.

Commencement

Commencement: An act, instance or time of making a beginning

When one thinks of commencement and commencement speeches, very rarely does anyone remember the minute instances and details of this important occasion, only the blur that occurs inside the mind when it is obvious your life will change in a permanent way. I remember little of mine, except that I wore short shorts, which garnered criticism from my grandfather and compliments from girls. I have no recollection of who gave the commencement address or what it was about. Those of you who have sat through a handful of these events, be it high school or college, probably have a good idea. The speaker talks about the future, how it is what you make it, that it is important that each and every one of you make a positive mark on society. It seems every commencement speaker has the same playbook of clichés, analogies, and contrite optimism.

Politicians and celebrity speakers are especially guilty of this, considering they rarely touch on the subjects most knowledgeable to them. Oprah shouldn’t be talking about the future, she should be giving tips on how to best use the never-ending pasta bar at Olive Garden. Billy Joel should only be giving tips on how to avoid writer’s block and car crashes. Bill Clinton has no inspirational thoughts on the future, unless they involve expensive speaking engagements during which he spends over an hour discussing and elaborating on essentially nothing. President Barack Obama’s advice for graduates should not include how anything is possible, but if you screw up your life to the extent where you are too big to fail, he will happily bail you out. Why are these people asked to give motivational speeches when someone from the local community students actually know would have a far greater impact?

A good friend of mine recently gave a commencement address to a local class of high school seniors. For three years, he had been their teacher, inspiring and engaging students in English, a subject considered quite hard to connect with kids especially in the age of texting, social networking and general disinterest. A man who does not accept failure easily, he gained students’ admiration and respect, going above and beyond to help students with their work. His reward for such outstanding work was termination due to budget cuts. His dedicated students started a Facebook group and presented the school board with a petition filled with hundreds of signatures to no avail. What’s done is done. Rules are rules and there is very little people can do to change them. On that night, many students received their first dose of adult reality: there is indeed a limit to things you can do and accomplish. A harsh lesson but one that needs to be learned, sooner or later. This moment may have been in my friend’s thoughts as he addressed his group of seniors. What followed was not only the best commencement speech I’ve heard, but the only one which addressed students on their level.

He began his speech with the frank statement that he considered declining the speaking invitation due to the upcoming change in his life. He decided to accept on the reasoning both the Class of 2009 and he were facing an uncertain future. This is especially true this year for both high school and college graduates. The job market is dim, if nonexistent for many students. There are millions of experienced, qualified candidates for every job right now. The quality of worker seen at the average Wal-Mart and McDonald’s has risen to the point where the average employee is overqualified for their menial tasks. The economic collapse (people should really stop using “downturn:” it is an insult to intelligence) has affected thousands of teachers like my friend. For the first time in many years, there are few, if any openings for even the most exceptional educators, a description that still does a disservice to my friend’s ability. The odds in winning the lottery look better than landing a good job. This fact is not lost on the class of 2009. Always a realist, my friend chose to address the ups and downs of this most uncertain future.

Personal uncertainty, he stated, is a time “when you learn who you are.” Friendships may become distant, changes may be unexpected and drastic, but how you choose to deal with these events will be what makes or breaks you as a person. “You will become different, you will become an individual and have responsibilities…you will have to make decisions.” Most graduates in high school or college will witness their snowglobe world become much larger and hazier. They will soon find themselves in different surroundings and with new people, whose lives and experiences may not mirror their own. They most likely will not be impressed with athletic accomplishments or delinquent endeavors. They may not care for your favorite music or if they do, they may know far more about it than you do. It becomes difficult to impress people with stories. What remains is the individual’s personality. Are you caring or callous? Do you go out of your way to help others in need or do you “phone it in”? Are you your own person or do you follow the crowd, adapting their behaviors, likes and dislikes to avoid scrutiny? These decisions define what an individual is. If you are willing to be yourself, make logical decisions and back them up, the rewards are far-reaching and permanent. Become what you are, not what someone else wants you to be.

My friend’s speech turned to the subject of love and friendship. “Keep the ones you love near and dear to you…receive love and show love.” He stated that when times are hard, those you love will get you through. It is important to not lose these people as your lives change, but stay in contact with them as best you can. They are the people who will be by your side as you go through the good times and bad. They are the friends and family who will celebrate your marriage or comfort you during a divorce. They are the people who hold your newborn child and help you cope when that child becomes a teenager and totals your car. It is vital not to lose these connections or let them become distant. In our Web 2.0 era of Facebook and Twitter, it is still all too easy to not return phone calls or emails. You will get caught up in your lives; the day-to-day tasks that drain the energy once used to stay up until the crack of dawn discussing life, the universe and everything. It is important that you keep making the time, even if it is just a text or a quick shout-out. If you are there for them, they will be there for you. Great friendships last a lifetime. What began as copying a worksheet or playing a videogame turns into car repair, home remodeling or just reminiscing over a few select beverages. The next time you see a group of elderly guys chatting away over a pot of coffee at the local diner or a group of older ladies making a quilt, think of how friendship and love can be with you throughout your lifetime.

Never one to display overt emotion, my friend exhibited it at the end of his speech. It occurred to me and possibly to him as well, that his speech was not just for graduates, but for all of us listening. At different times we all go through commencements and face the task of making our beginning. Sometimes the occasion is a happy one, sometimes not so much. As the Class of 2009 and my friend begin a new phase of life, there are many others who face an unknown future. It is up to us as individuals if we choose to celebrate change or lament it. We all need to have faith and love inside, regardless of the obstacles before us. I have known my friend for twenty-five years, a friendship I cannot come close to stating how much it means to me. Both of us are gamers at heart, always looking for the inside edge in Mario Kart as well as life. If there is one thing I have learned from our friendship, it is to never give up; an attribute I hope to pass to my young children as they grow. The future is always bright if you chose to make it so.

Begin the beginning
Eyes to the future
Still fighting
Still winning

Copyright 2009 Adam Koeppe

Commencement definition derived from Miriam Webster

Ron's Story

This piece is dedicated to Studs Terkel.

I first met Ron a few years ago at my convenience store gig. He worked the night shift at the cabinet factory across the street and would stop in with his carpooling buddies to buy coffee, smokes and lottery tickets. Every day, Ron would stop in for this afternoon ritual, always buying “Minnesota Hold-Em” scratch offs. I didn’t know if he ever won more than he lost but he seemed to enjoy the game. Ron is a small, skinny fellow, about five feet tall and alternates between a scruffy gray beard and clean-shaven. That’s all I really knew about Ron, despite having served him at the store for almost two years. I didn’t think much of it as I assumed we would have little in common anyway. I just sold him a large cup of coffee, a pack of Pall Malls and scratch offs. I don’t think Ron ever bought anything other than those three items which he bought every day, five days a week. He must really like stability.

One Sunday afternoon, I took my family to eat at a Chinese restaurant in Monticello, which has the distinction of being the only place in Wright County where you can order fresh sushi (yes, I know sushi is Japanese food – my last name’s Koeppe, not Palin). As I was gathering a plateful of salmon and tuna wrapped in a sesame seed rice patty with a big side of wasabi, I bumped into Ron. He greeted me with the “hey” of an old friend and pointed to the table where my family was seated. “That your family? You’ve got a nice family there.” Ron motioned to a table two down from ours where a young man was seated. “That’s my boy – he’s a BIG boy,” he laughed. Ron’s son was definitely bigger than he was, about three times as big. I could tell how proud he was of his son. After I finished my sushi-fest and the kids were getting antsy as toddlers tend to, we put on our coats and began to leave, I walked over to Ron’s table.
“Nice to see ya,” I said.
“You, too. Take care,” smiled Ron.
“See you in a couple days.”

Ron and I talked quite a bit after that encounter. He’d come into the store, fill up his 20-ounce coffee and give me grief regarding its freshness. He always made a point to ask me how my family was and tell me what a nice family I had. I started to get more engaged in his lotto picks and guessed he usually won a little more than he lost. We’d have two minute conversations about life’s boredoms and annoyances. One afternoon, I confessed to being a little tired (probably from writing or the kids) and Ron laughed.
“How much sleep do you get?”
“I try to get six hours,” I replied.
“I get home about one o’clock, sleep at two and I’m up again at five.”
“Why?”
“So I can see my boy.”
Ron explained that his work hours prevented him from seeing his son most of the week. He would leave for the night shift before his son would be home from school and his son would be sleeping when he returned from work. Like many individuals, Ron found it hard to fall back asleep after waking up. He survived on three hours of sleep, five days a week, so he could see his son every day. It’s little wonder he would complain about the freshness of coffee given how much of it he probably consumed. Ron’s sacrifice of sleep is one many parents give when they can’t see their kids. The thought of missing them grow up is far worse than missing sleep.

Ron’s story made me think of my mom, who for many years, worked either the midnight or graveyard shift at her factory job. I guess I took for granted that she would be there to wake me up in the morning, give me a good breakfast and ask me how life was going. Mom probably didn’t fall back asleep after I went to school. Our house was always spotless, laundry washed and beds made. Many times, she would make supper for my Dad and me before she left for work, putting the meal in the refrigerator in separate Tupperware containers for the both of us. As a kid, it never occurred to me the time and effort entailed on a daily basis to make her family happy.

The 2008 recession hit the construction industry particularly hard. The cabinet factory was forced to lay off the majority of the night shift, giving the employees about a days notice that their services were no longer needed. It was difficult to come to work for my first day after the carnage. I kept thinking about Ron and his carpooling buddies, wondering if they made the cut. I started to watch the clock, ticking closer to 3PM, a half hour before the night shift starts. Nobody. 3:10, still no-one through the door. About 3:20, I knew Ron had been laid off. It was a sad, lonely half hour, one experienced by too many this past year. I started to realize how much I would miss Ron, a person I didn’t know or care much about until he chose to care about me.

Maybe it’s time we take a closer look at all the people who surround our lives every day and get to know them. Even if you don’t have anything in common with them, their hearts might surprise you. Make a connection with them – keep it if you can. Ron may not be a plumber, “Joe Six-Pack” or a convenient sound bite, but he is real to me and an epitome of why we should create connections with each other every chance we get.

I hope Ron uses this unfortunate situation to hang out with his son that he loves and not dwell on his lack of employment. There’s no point in being mad about a lost job. What’s the use in being angry about something if you can’t change the outcome? Even though change is hard to stomach, losing a job is miniscule to losing family or friends. There’s no point getting wrapped up in situations out of your control. If the media is too much of a downer, ignore it, watch “Sponge Bob” and laugh at the realization Patrick Starfish would have done better supervising Wall Street.

My Mom was laid off several times when I was young. Even if we didn’t have a lot of money, it was great to spend time with her. Possessions are replaceable, time is not. Hopefully, many people who are starting the year unemployed will use this time to do things they always wanted to do. Be it sleep, fish, cook a good meal for your family or catch up on TV, do something that makes you happy. I’d like to think Ron is using his time enjoying his family, making the occasional trip to the local store for cigarettes and “Minnesota Hold-‘Em”, winning a little more than he loses, which is all any of us can hope for when the chips are down.