The following is a transcript of the my serialized Christmas special posted on Facebook. It may not be the best Christmas special ever, but it sure beats the stuff crapped out on Lifetime, ABC Family and the Hallmark Channel. Use your imagination to fill in the gaps. Enjoy! Special thanks to Holly, Jason, Dan and Chris for commenting on this while it was being posted.
Adam is dammit! Uncle Billy lost the bank deposit money! Adam fired Uncle Billy, committed him to the asylum, slammed a White Russian and is going to find a way to sa
ve Christmas!
ve Christmas! 
Adam is contacting the Guardians of the Christmas Spirit to ask their help in saving his Christmas. Will Mr. Hankey, Andy Williams, KISS and Ted McGinley help out?
Adam is sad to learn Mr. Hankey is stuck in the sewers of Chicago politics and KISS is playing pinball with Rufer. It's up to Andy Williams and Ted McGinley!
Adam is shocked! Bernard Madoff stole Uncle Billy's bank deposit money, the lifetime savings of thousands of people but also the spirit of Christmas itself! 
Adam has been assured Ted McGinley and Andy Williams are going to find a way to stop Bernie Madoff and save Christmas!
Adam saw Ted McGinley tap into the public Yule Log TV feed. He’s got to have a plan. Never count out Ted McGinley! 
Adam is watching Ted McGinley synchronize the Yule Log station with Andy Williams rocking out on “Christmas Hero”. Will Andy's voice be enough to stop Madoff?
Adam is amazed to see KISS return from Rufer’s house and join the Andy Williams choir. The Gods of Thunder and the Saint of Christmas – together!
Adam is seeing the power of Andy Williams and KISS separating Bernard Madoff from his money! Wait! Mr Hankey's blocking the toilet-Madoff can’t flush the money down!
Adam is grateful the Guardians of Christmas returned the hope and magic of the holidays away from evil Bernie Madoff, exiling him to the sewers with Mr. Hankey.
Adam is happy to have such wonderful friends and family. God bless us, every one!
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