Tuesday, October 7, 2008

My Take on the Bailout

Adam Koeppe's Fantasy Business World:

I like comic books. No...I love comics! From the old EC "Tales From the Crypt" and "Mad Magazine" to Spiderman, Batman and Joss Whedon's sensational run on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer".

In the world of Imaginationland, I open up my business. I sell comics, posters and remains of cremated Anakin Skywalker. I stage events bringing authors like Alan Moore, Frank Miller and Bruce Campbell to my store. I pay for their transportation, for their hotels. I buy them food. I kiss their butt in usual fanboy fashion.

10 people show up. Oops. Guess that sucks. Didn't realize people wouldn't turn out in a town of 2000 people, 50 miles from Minneapolis, to see these authors. I can't pay these guys except buy getting a loan and putting my shop as collateral.

Bear in mind I also have $200 statues of the Submariner, the Six Million Dollar Man, and Howard the Duck for sale and I can't figure out why I can't move them.I also have to pay the anti-social, potentially drug-addled employees just so they can afford comic books. I also take home comics I want to read and don't pay for them. I'm the owner, dammit! I should get to read the 10 comics Wolverine is in!

My sales stink. Bought too many Archie Comics. Overestimated the "Archie demographic".

I guess I need a bailout. A "rescue plan", if you will.

Help me Henry Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope!

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