I'm Sick and Tired of Getting Ripped Off by the Beatles!

I don’t care too much for money,
Money can’t buy me love – Lennon/McCartney

What a crock. By the time “Can’t Buy Me Love” was released in early 1964, The Beatles were well on their way to fame and fortune. Their film “A Hard Days Night” would be released later that year to universal acclaim as the Fab Four laid claim to pop culture dominance in a way that has never been equaled since. At their commercial peak, there was no way a civilized person could escape Beatlemania except by possibly checking themselves into an asylum. There were magazines, lunchboxes, toys and incredibly great music. The music created by John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr is as loved and appreciated now just as it was in the sixties. One can make the argument it is the strength of the songs and band, which has made the Beatles continually popular long after almost all their contemporaries have faded away, burned out or went to the great gig in the sky.

However, the Beatles and their managers were masters of self-promotion, possessing an uncanny ability to convince their legions of fans that every new Beatles product is amazing, indispensable and further evidence of their greatness. On September 8th, 2009, the Beatles will release remastered versions of their albums and September 9th, the hotly anticipated “Beatles Rock Band,” a video game which allows players to grab a facsimile instrument of their choice achieve a semblance of “inner Fab-ness.” Before the game has even hit store shelves, it has already received a plethora of accolades from the music press, which has universally proclaimed “Beatles Rock Band” will confirm the Fab Four’s status as the greatest band ever. Sorry. My needle’s stuck somewhere in the middle of “The Long and Winding Road.” It’s stuck on an instrumental bridge which just keeps repeating itself, over and over.

My version of the song is from the often-bootlegged “Get Back” sessions, the majority of songs were re-imagined by uber-producer and now convicted killer Phil Spector. The “Get Back” sessions were once some of the most sought after unreleased Beatle material. I purchased by copy fifteen years ago and was anxious to hear the original versions songs on what is widely considered the weakest of Beatles albums. To say that I was disappointed in the material contained in the “Get Back” record would be an understatement. Without the discipline of their longtime producer and mentor, Sir George Martin, the Beatles were revealed to be just another band who managed to get the best of breaks throughout their career. However, being a big Beatle fan, I relished having this sacred material, and have the album (with apple-green vinyl) on display at my house. The Beatles were still the greatest ever, and it never for once occurred to me to stop my pursuit of more Beatle product. After fifteen years of seeing continual yet sub-par merchandise, I’ve decided I’m done. I don’t care if anyone wants to pretend they are John Lennon with a plastic Les Paul guitar, make up various excuses as to why it is worth shelling out a week’s pay for music people already have or listen to baby-boomers attempt once again to make their geriatric generation relevant. I have the majority of Beatle-related crap issued since their breakup in 1970 and understand what tomorrow does not know: the Beatles love money more than they love you – Yeah, yeah yeah.

The Beatles and their management have orchestrated their posthumous releases in a fashion that has no comparisons in terms of marketing. Their only interest has been financial, to keep as many original fans buying crap but still holding enough in the vaults to keep the mystique alive. The 1970’s saw the Beatles splinter apart. The initial solo releases were excellent but by 1975, the well had run dry. The albums still sold well, but can anyone honestly state the last time they played McCartney’s “Band on the Run,” Lennon’s “Walls and Bridges,” Harrison’s “Dark Horse” or Ringo’s “Goodnight Vienna?” All of these albums were still big sellers but as I look through them, where did they go? Sadly, none of these releases are worth remembering except for those who ran to their local store in anticipation of hearing some resemblance to the band’s glory days. Even though there are a handful of decent songs, most copies are gathering dust on fan’s shelves, evidence of devotion, completion and a desire to get back to a time where all you needed was love. The Beatles were in danger on becoming irrelevant in an era where disco and punk rock were beginning to dominate radio waves. However, the band’s unreleased recordings were among the most sought after by rock and roll fans. Their live recordings and studio outtakes jump-started the bootleg industry. Beatle fanatics flocked to record stores which carried the material, forking over money for super-secret access to their heroes. As their seventies output entered a commercial and critical nadir, the Beatles chose to capitalize on the burgeoning bootleg industry. The 1977 release of “Live at the Hollywood Bowl” hit number one in Britain and number two in the United States. Upon listening to the material, originally recorded in 1964 and 1965, shows a heavily remixed concerts which brought back to many fans the feeling of Beatlemania. Interestingly, this best-selling record has yet to see a CD release. The following year saw the release of “Rarities,” an album that culled a few of the best bootleg tracks along with a lot of trivial material. Care to hear “I Want to Hold Your Hand” sang in German? Sure, I bet you do. Care to put it on your Ipod? Anyone, anyone?

Despite the fluff, “Beatles Rarities” succeeded in grabbing the attention of music fans. This was largely due to the opening track, the original version of “Across the Universe,” a song which was butchered by Phil Spector on the “Let It Be” album. This song was (and is) worth the price of the whole LP. Also included was “Rain,” the b-side to “Paperback Writer.” “Rain” had a cult following due to the band making a promotional video for the song. The Beatles were very savvy and were the first rock group to promote a 45 as two great songs, not just a designated hit as the a-side and a throwaway song on the flip. To buy a Beatles single from 1966-1969 meant getting two new Beatles songs, the majority of which would not end up on a full-length album release. The songs which did not end up on the “1964-1966” or “1967-1970” double albums were widely circulated among fans. Although the George Harrison B-side to “Lady Madonna,” “The Inner Light” was included, the Beatles chose to make their fans wanting the rest of the b-side material. There is no concise argument that can be made as to why the Beatles did not do this in 1978. None. I challenge the Nowhere Man to think for himself. Ironically, Neil Innes and Eric Idle released the Rutles film and album in 1978, appropriately titled “All You Need is Cash.”

In 1987, the Beatles entered the newest sonic medium of the eighties, the compact disc. The surviving Three-tles (Lennon was assassinated in 1980) stuck to their marketing mantra and gave themselves yet another financial ticket to ride. To ensure Beatle fans across the world would purchase the newly remastered catalog, all forms of album releases would be deleted from their catalog in favor of the British releases. This is why you can’t find your parents’ or grandparents’ copy of “Meet the Beatles!” on CD. Switching to the British catalog of album releases changed up song orders on all Beatle albums until 1967’s “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band,” after which all album tracks were uniform. Most of the American releases contained the Beatles’ hit singles but the British versions tended to be stand-alone releases, with few singles contained therein. Fans who wanted songs such as “I Want to Hold Your Hand,” I Feel Fine” or “Day Tripper” were forced to buy two new compilations, “Past Masters Volumes One and Two” to complete their Beatle catalog. American fans who grew up listening to “Beatles 65”, “Something New” or “Yesterday and Today” were just plain out of luck…for now.

As the eighties drew to a close, a new type of music was emerging, grunge. Seattle bands like Nirvana and Pearl Jam were quick to drop names of the many rock acts which had influenced them such as Husker Du, The Vaselines, The Who and Neil Young. Rarely, if ever, were the lads from Liverpool mentioned. The Beatles were once again finding themselves floating outside the river of mainstream tastes. It was once again time to consult the massive vault of unreleased but still widely bootlegged Beatle songs to propel the band back into the spotlight – and sell a few more million records. The Beatles performed live on BBC radio fifty-two times in their career. These live recordings represented some of the hottest bootleg material available, as there were several songs recorded for the “Beeb” which never saw release. Out of the hundreds of tracks available, sixty-nine were selected for this double disc compilation. Fans once again flew en masse to record stores in December 1994 to pick up this glossy, expensive and sadly overrated album. At arguable grunge and alternative music’s peak, the Beatles garnered themselves yet another top ten album. Although there are several gems included in the set, including a blistering version of “The Hippy Hippy Shake,” much of the collection was from the band’s early years where without the expertise of Sir George Martin production skills, the Fabs sounded like a bar-band version of their polished selves. My copy of “Live at the BBC” has remained largely unplayed in the last fifteen years. Upon retrieving it from my collection to research of this piece, it actually still smelled new.

The following year saw the Beatles reunite through studio magic (although there are unsubstantiated rumors the Maharishi was involved) to utilize a previously unreleased (but familiar to collectors) John Lennon recording, “Free as a Bird” and re-imagine it with performances from the surviving three band members. Producer, former ELO member, Traveling Wilbury and wannabe Beatle Jeff Lynne produced this track, which sounded like a mash-up before mash-ups were invented. Lennon’s vocals do not match the rest of the production, which sounded like a bizarre Beatle-compilation, with vocals from everyone but Ringo (some things never change). The song sounded like producer Lynne forgot everything he had copied from George Martin over the past two decades. At times it sounded like a Traveling Wilbury song, a McCartney song or a Harrison song but one would be hard pressed (even after a trip to Dr. Robert) to consider it a Beatles song. Fans still could not resist the appeal of any new Beatles material as “Free as a Bird” still charted in the top ten.

The Beatles once again were the apple of the music fan’s eye as the “Beatles Anthology” documentary aired during November of 1995. Designed to accompany “Free as a Bird” and three upcoming “Anthology” CD’s, the documentary succeeded in re-establishing the Fab Four as the top music act of the rock and roll era. However, much of the new interview footage (especially Paul McCartney’s) did not reveal much about the band the average fan did not already know. Many of the band’s live performances and promotional films (precursors to music videos) were chopped up or worse yet, overdubbed from the original recordings. The performances of “Hey Jude” and “Revolution” were among the last live appearances the band ever made, both of which were butchered worse than the baby dolls for the “Yesterday and Today” album cover. The Beatles had several live concerts professionally filmed over their careers including their landmark Shea Stadium concert and two Tokyo concerts which were some of their last gigs as a touring act. For some bizarro reason, little of this footage was used in its entirety. The Beatles’ promotional films are both original and fantastic, yet few of these were used for the documentary in their original forms. The live performance of “Revolution” remains one of my all-time favorite Beatle clips, yet the majority of the performance shown in the documentary overdubs the studio vocals over the live ones. Fans were left alone, the elusive Beatle bird had flown again.

1999 saw the release of the “Yellow Submarine Songtrack,” a quasi-replacement CD for the animated 1968 film. The Beatles had little involvement with the initial film, providing only a handful of new material to accompany it and a cute, cheeky cameo at the film’s end. The 1999 CD, along with the movie’s video release, and a buttload of “Yellow Submarine” merchandise, attempted to cement the film as an essential part of Beatle canon. By and large, it succeeded. I bought the new soundtrack, along with the “Yellow Submarine” toys. They were pretty darn cool but even a big Beatle fan like yours truly couldn’t quick fork over the money for the “Yellow Submarine” lunchbox. If enough unnecessary and irrelevant merchandise is for sale, even the hardcore fans tend to rebel (see KISS). The CD was the first time since 1987 Beatles songs had been remastered and they never sounded better, if better just means louder. As recording technology advanced, newer CD’s began to sound substantially louder than ones recorded ten years earlier. Most music fans love to make mix-CD’s but if the sound radically goes up and down between songs the experience of a mix becomes bothersome, if not annoying if the volume has to be adjusted constantly. The “Yellow Submarine Songtrack” put the Beatles right back at the sonic front. There was no obvious tinkering with Martin’s original mixes and the amplification made one appreciate the band’s talent even more than ever other release. Fans waited for the eventual remastering of the rest of the group’s material. They would have to wait another ten years.

In 2000, “The Beatles:1” showcasing 27 of the group’s biggest hits remastered in the fashion of “Yellow Submarine.” It seems obvious these songs were part of the same project as no other Beatle remasters were issued until September 9th of 2009. In 2006, “Love,” a remix project by Sir George Martin and his son Giles was released to accompany the Cirque De Soleil performance act celebrating the music of the Beatles. The Martins’ remix of “Come Together” was astounding, the rest of the material interesting yet fun curiosities. DJ’s had been mashing the Beatles with other artists for a decade at this point, one of the best being a mash-up of the “Revolver” album called “Revolved” and a mash album of the Beatles and Beastie Boys. Unlike artists such as Prince, Dave Matthews or Metallica, the Beatles never chose to take any legal action against those who used their music without copyright authority. In fact, it seems after forty years of Beatles bootlegs, the Fabs encourage the proliferation of their material as much as possible. The refuse to license their music to Steve Job’s iTunes empire, yet one can easily find many Beatle fanatics who have every BBC Radio session track, rare live performances, outtakes and videos. Before there was any idea of file-sharing, the Beatles understood more than any other rock act except for Bruce Springsteen, that there is no such thing as bad publicity.

Some astute readers may have noticed that Elvis Presley has been left out of this essay. The simple reason the “King of Rock and Roll” is not experiencing the same popular resurgences as the Beatles is the majority of Presley’s recorded material has been released. They are contained in gigantic box sets released by RCA Records. Elvis’ complete recordings, outtakes and live have been available for a decade. Bear in mind Elvis was largely a studio singer after he returned from the army and he never wrote his own material, making fifteen takes of any song kinda redundant. Elvis was the singer, other people (Leiber and Stoller in the early years) wrote his material. Session musicians performed it. Session musicians, by their occupation, are paid to play a song as presented to them. There is no “working it out” in the studio. Elvis Presley’s Complete 50’s, 60’s and 70’s box sets are well worth looking into and purchasing. To do the same with the Beatles would require a truckload of CD’s or a massive hard drive. Many of the Beatles’ songs changed drastically during recordings whereas Presley’s did not. His Sun recordings and the 50’s box set show an artist involved with his material. After that, hidden gems are hard to find. From their onset of superstardom, the Beatles kept a close lid on their mystique, knowing as long as your name is mentioned in the media, general interest is rises and so will sales of the music.














September 9th will see the release of “Beatles Rock Band” and the long anticipated remastering of their British albums. The hype has been massive and by all inspection the game looks great. It even has new unreleased “Beatle-chatter” from Abbey Road Studio. Why should any Beatlemanic forgo this new – yet not so new release? I have several reasons for my apathy and angst towards the Fab Four’s new invasion into my wallet. In my life, I have purchase four copies of the “White Album:” the original, numbered press and a reissue on vinyl, the cassette and the CD. I’ve forked over my cash for “Sgt. Pepper,”, “ Magical Mystery Tour,” and “Abbey Road” three times: vinyl, cassette and CD. “Rubber Soul” and “Revolver” twice: cassette and CD. I think I’ve paid to what amounts to a lifetime subscription for these recordings. Yet the Beatles 2009 remasters will be issued in two separate sets: one stereo, one mono, adding two more to the ever-expanding Beatle empire. Add “Beatles Rock Band” to the equation, which in addition to the 45 songs included in the game, promises to offer complete album downloads after its release. If I buy all the new “White Albums” in addition to the ones I already own, my “White Album” purchases would amount to seven. I really think this is all too much. Beatles, I’m not a rich man. Won’t you please, please help me understand why you need so much of my cash?

There is no doubt the release of the video game and the CD’s will generate interest in the Beatles, especially for those who are younger and have not heard the music in the same way previous generations have. They can take their ticket to ride to an era which may never be equaled in terms of ability, evolution and success. Enjoy it, please. Buy the game and search for your own Yoko Ono. For me and many other Beatles fans, we’re just waiting for the next revelation. No artist in history, be it poets, playwrights, novelists, filmmakers or musicians, have given so much yet held so much back within them. “Magical Mystery Tour” and “Let It Be” have yet to be released on DVD. The “Get Back” album, along with the complete rooftop performance, the last live concert the Beatles performed, has not been released in its entirety. The original Beatles U.S. records are still longed for by those who grew up with the band, yet this longing to recapture a significant portion of their youth has gone unfulfilled. The complete Shea Stadium and Tokyo concerts are still in the vaults, waiting for new fans to see the live phenomenon of the Beatles. The great promo films still sit there, too, marking a band aware of their impact of a T.V. audience and a means of making a song much more than just a song. The kiddie animated cartoon is still guarded by top Liverpool men, wanting to tell you why the psychedelic songs don’t fit the black suits and bowl haircuts. The Beatles leave us their loving, but scatter our desires of understanding them across their universe. They may have given us the love they made, but they continue to want us to spend our money so bad. As the 21st Century unfolds, Beatlemania, no matter how phony, will never bite the dust.

"All In"

“It’s a bitch convincing people to like you.” – The Scissor Sisters.

Poker is a fascinating game. The 2000’s have seen a massive spike in the card game’s general popularity, culminating with weekly nights of Texas Hold-em at pretty much any bar and quite a few weekend parties as well. Its appeal to mass audiences is somewhat confounding, considering the general randomness of the game. Texas Hold-‘em poker can even be seen of ESPN on a regular basis and provides the viewer with a wide variety of characters who are “professional” players. They come from all walks of life. Some are lifetime gamblers, some internet moguls, mathematicians or even carpenter’s wives. The success of the individual gambler depends more on their ability to gauge their opponents’ hands and being able to master the art of the bluff, fooling other players about the true contents of your hand. Kenny Rogers put it perfectly in his 1978 classic song, The Gambler: “You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. Know when to walk away and know when to run.” The main problem with poker’s mainstream popularity (and the main impetus for the public’s waning interest) is many players tend to ignore the last part of Mr. Rogers’ advice. The tendency to go “all in;” to put all your chips on the line during one hand is far too tempting. The sad result for many players is an overestimation of the odds and the eradication of their bank account. Even if there is not a cloud in the sky, sometimes the rain must fall.

There is little difference these days between poker players and politicians, except one expects most poker players to lie. In 2008, the United States was in the midst of its first election cycle where the statements of candidates were immediately recorded for posterity on You Tube, numerous political websites and blogs. The advent of cell phone cameras and DVD recorders assured even the most innocent and innocuous of blunders could be broadcast immediately to the entire world. The gamble politicians used to make was to promise the voting populace everything and anything they could; the rationale being the average voter has a short-term memory and broken promises and nasty attacks could be explained away with quickie lines attacking the opposing party. This philosophy worked for decades until 2008. It became dangerous to use a slanderous attack ad on your opponent and fatal to be caught lying. Hillary Clinton’s candidacy was permanently damaged by her false claims of dodging sniper fire on a trip to Bosnia. Senator Elizabeth Dole’s campaign, seen as a safe win at the time, was derailed by an attack ad on her opponent, which implied she was an atheist. Worse yet was the footage broadcast from several rallies by Republican presidential candidate John McCain, which showed several people voicing hateful and false accusations toward his opponent, Barack Obama.

McCain’s campaign gambled that Sarah Palin’s continual attacks on Obama’s patriotism would catch on not only with the Republican base, but cause doubt in the voting public’s eye on Mr. Obama’s fitness for the highest office in the land. The widespread broadcast of racist hatemongers on national television and the internet forced the McCain camp to back down on their aggressive tactics and ultimately limped into a massive defeat on Election Day. Conversely, Mr. Obama held his political hand tight, refusing to enter major confrontations and choosing to rely on vague promises of “change” and “hope.” Ironically, his running mate, Joe Biden, saw his presidential ambitions end early in 2008 due to comments made about the future President of the United States. A poker player can only hold their hand for so long before being forced to enter the fray, a fact that has become all too evident for Mr. Obama and Mr. Biden as they enter the final third of their first year running the country.

The appeal of watching poker on television is the ability to see the hands of all the players and seeing the drama unfold before your eyes. Some players win with two pair, some lose with a straight. It would not be surprising if President Obama was an avid viewer of these games, given his ambitious unrolling of his agenda. Obama won the presidency largely because of his connection to voters via the internet. It would be foolish to think these people would accept the new president putzing around after promising so many things to American citizens. He was now forced to play his hand, regardless of the contents. One by one, the cards were put on the table for the entire world to judge. Stimulus: not too stimulating. Purchasing an automobile company on the taxpayer dollar: faulty spark plugs. Insuring America’s children through cigarette tax increases: a carcinogen worth inhaling. Closing Guantanamo Bay without actually closing it: worthless. Whacking a fly on national TV: super-cool. President Obama’s hand was a political full house. A hand capable of winning but still susceptible to defeat providing the opponent has a strong hand to counter.

Fortunately for Mr. Obama, his Republican opponents seem to have a two-pair hand at best and no face cards to show for it. The Republican counter to the stimulus was more tax cuts: been there, done that for eight years. Purchase of Government Motors: a fold. Taxing cigarettes to insure poor kids: fold again. Closing Gitmo and not closing it: the Joker’s out there somewhere and we better keep him at bay – even up. Killing a fly for public amusement: Unlikely partnership with PETA. The GOP tends to have a similar response to the Obama agenda. A table-talking bluff stating “my hand’s better than yours, but I’m not going to show it. But it’s better than yours. Nyahh, nyahh. Taunting is an expected, if not integral part of a card game, but eventually a player has to back up their gab. Eventually your opponent will call your bluff. It’s not very bright or respectable to ramp up the pot based on a low-end two pair hand. Sadly, this is Mr. Obama’s opposition. By encouraging this reckless behavior in his opponents, Obama has positioned himself for a win even if his game is weak. It has been said throughout the ages that a competitor is only as good as one’s opponent. If this is taken to a modern application, the President needs only a better two pair hand than the pathetic one held by his opponents.

President Obama’s political poker prowess was never more evident than his appointment of Sonia Sotomayor for the Supreme Court. Before the appointment was announced, it was largely believed Obama would appoint a woman or a minority to the high court. The hand was his; all his GOP counterparts had to do was anticipate and counter. Obama was ready for this and appointed Ms. Sotomayor. Given his knowledge of the internet, the president and his staff were most likely aware of her “wise Latina woman” statement and were well informed of her controversial decision to uphold affirmative action policy to the detriment of several New Jersey firefighters. Obama and his staff knew Sotomayor would be opposed with extremist rhetoric and the conservative elite fell for his bait. Former Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich, along with talk radio madman Rush Limbaugh, called Sotomayor a racist, not the best language if you want to endear the growing Latino population to your party. Once again, Obama held the rest of his cards, refusing to jump into this dialogue. Although Sotomayor’s position on affirmative action was controversial, it was overshadowed by extremist comments and accusations from the far right. Mr. Gingrich, who many have believed to be contemplating a presidential run against Obama in 2012, has crippled himself by alienating a voting base he needs to remotely be seen as a viable candidate. The state of Florida has a massive Latino population and it will be highly unlikely many of them will vote for a candidate who called the first Latino Supreme Court Justice a racist. It is almost mathematically impossible for anyone to win the presidency if they lose New York, California and Florida. Good luck with that pair of 7’s, Newt. It just ain’t happening.

Barack Obama continues to play his political hand, risking the viability of his presidency on health care reform. It is a bet that is largely seen as a no-win, making more citizens angry than those who would be appeased. He is playing with billion-dollar big boys, whose lobbies have thwarted each and every attempt to step on their turf. This political poker game has never been seen as winnable and tends to result in a backlash of fear of change from American citizens, as those knowledgeable with the Clinton administration’s health care initiative from 1994 would attest to. One of the main accusations leveled at Obama and his gang of meddling kids is why would they attempt so much so soon? The Scooby crew only solved one mystery at a time, why should the Mystery Machine think they need to multi-task? The Web 2.0 reality needs Scooby Doo at that famous poker table. If he just sits at the back of the bus eating sandwiches with Shaggy, nothing gets done except for full stomachs and inflated egos. President Obama has chosen to be involved until the mystery is solved. Hang around for health reform!

In 2008, almost every candidate for higher office, from the states to the congress to the senate to the presidency, campaigned on helping average citizens with their medical bills. All of them, Republican, Democrat or Independent, stated they were going to make things better. Most of them never said explicitly how they were going to do it, but it was a major part of their platform. A hand held up as a bluff, hoping they would not be called to show ideologically nothing. As the health care debate continues to rage (in more ways than one), it has become obvious to even those most novice at political games the majority of our elected officials are far too interested in preserving their own political skin (financially and electorally) than to act on their bluffing postures to actually fix something.

One of the worst of these poseurs is Senator Arlen Specter, newly a Democrat – used to be a Republican - and now just plain old, who was foolish enough to state in a public forum he had not read the health care bill. Any political guru will say it is commonplace for an elected official to delegate something as minute as reading a 1,000 – plus page bill to staffers and just be given the “Cliff’s Notes” version. It is one thing to perform this act of ignorance, it is another to state said ignorance to your constituents, assuming they will completely understand you have better things to do than the actual job you were elected for. Specter was exposed as a political charlatan, leaving no doubt the reason he switched party affiliations was only for his own best interests. Justifying ignorance is like a poker player requesting a misdeal because they left the card table for a potty break. If your hand sucks, it sucks. Period. If you make a mistake, it’s part of living life in the real world. Deal with it. No amount of fundraising, babbling or special interests will save Senator Specter from an almost certain defeat in the upcoming 2010 primary. Sadly, Specter will probably use his decades of special interest connections and influences and run independently as Senator Joe Lieberman did in 2006. Some folks just don’t know when the dealing is done and they no longer have a winnable hand. Good poker players know when to walk away. Career politicians unfortunately do not.

Residing right next to Mr. Specter is a doghouse. A Blue Dog house to be precise. Blue Dog is a term used to describe junior Democratic House members that were elected not on principals, but on the generic “not Bush” platform, which worked sold well to a voting public tired of war and a collapsed economy, but not as effectively with their congressional cohorts. These supposed “Blue Dogs” are really the “Yellow Dogs:” so afraid of losing their seat they would prefer to have literally nothing happen during their terms in office so they can state they accomplished something. The “Yellow Dogs” are the United States of Godot. Nothing to be done. Nothing to be done. They are the poker player who chooses to stay in the game, never commit to winning or losing, but long to ride out the hand just to stay in the game. The only significant difference between the “Yellow Dogs” and Senator Specter is the “Yellow Dogs” apparently know how to read. One can only stonewall for so long, however. There comes a time when you have to play your hand, even if you have no idea what to do with it. The “Yellow Dogs” aren’t out for publicity (a red herring) but have united for survival. If doing nothing except waiting is an attribute, it should be suggested that tax dollars would be saved if the ghost of Samuel Beckett would be elected as a proxy instead of these handful of boremongers standing around the Washington tree, one that is easily chopped down by those of more intellectual and intestinal fortitude.

All games, be it politics, poker, capitalism or communism always have some players who want to play the game as recklessly as possible. These individuals want to win, have little knowledge on how to traditionally do so, but play the game with the utmost fire, piss and vinegar. This is the player who brings their queen out on the third chess move, bets too much on a pair of Jacks and saves all their cash up to buy Boardwalk and Park Place. These folks don’t win very often but they make the games dangerous for those who play with them. These players do not want to win on the gentleman’s terms but choose to adopt a position of annihilation versus risk. Their philosophy is “all in” every game. Win or lose, they take it to the extreme without regard to their partners or opponents. These are the people you wouldn’t play “tag” with on the playground for fear they would shove you to the pavement just to prove a point. These boys and girls grow up, true believers, and they become the person most likely to succeed in stealing your parking spot or the last cup of coffee in the office. This philosophy could be taken as anarchistic, but it is a belief filled with nihilism. The idiom of “malice towards all” has shown itself in our great country like a beaten bully out for revenge or a defeated poker player crying fowl to the dealer.

There is an inherent defiance in many people when the game turns against their favor. It wasn’t me – someone cheated. Call for a mis-deal on a contingency only the objecting party seems to know about. I didn’t land on the giant leap in Chutes and Ladders – it must be Obama’s fault. I lost my turn on Candyland – Obama’s to blame. I played the Game of Life and had five kids and didn’t get my mansion – dammit, Obama, you suck! I want my Candyland country back! If you don’t give it to me, I’m going to knock the pieces down and restart the game until I get what I want. You cheated. I’m not sure how but I know you did – otherwise I would have won. This is the platform of the “Birthers,” who believe President Obama is an illegal alien and therefore should not be President of the United States. Without an electoral count to hold in question, as Democrats alleged in 2000 for George Bush, the losing faction has chose to invent a story to give their defeated ranks adrenaline.

The term “Birthers” is the term applied to the ultra right-wing nut-jobs who believe President Obama is not really the president as he actually born in the African country of Kenya. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, the “Birther” movement has ground in the small populace of disaffected Americans (a clear majority of which are older, un-educated and white) tapping into the same fears held by the extreme left-wingers who believe the United States orchestrated 9/11. Even conservative pundit Ann Coulter has come out against this extremism. However, “Birthers” and 9/11 conspiracy loonies should have one thing in common: George W. Bush was not the President of the United States from 2001-2008: pretty much the whole country knows the real president was Dick Cheney.

“We’re not into music, we’re into chaos” – The Sex Pistols

Worst of all poker players (and gamers in general) are those who really don’t care. They may want to win but revel most in watching other players lose, forcing them to make plays which are completely illogical just to counter the general challenge to the rules of the game. This can be fun for a while, until the game night goes on for a few hours and the other players begin to realize the “joker” only wishes to prolong the agony as long as humanly possible. Music lovers cherish the myth of the Sex Pistols as revolutionaries and anarchists, but without the cold calculations of band manager Malcolm McLaren and the producing skills of Chris Thomas, it is unlikely one of the greatest rock and roll bands in history would have achieved this celebrated notoriety. Listening to their demo recordings can be compared to the irrational ramblings of a certain ex-governor of Alaska. Garbled, unfocused and lacking structure, Sarah Palin’s recent Facebook post describing “death panels” President Obama would incorporate under health care reform, succeeded in both shocking and alienating the masses. There’s something there, but it’s hard to conclude exactly what that something is, except for a rank amateur broadcasting a demo recording which should have definitely stayed in the friendly confines of a garage or basement. Defending Sarah Palin’s hate rhetoric is the musical equivalent of comparing G.G. Allin to the Beatles. It is plausible Allin’s fans have the same attitude towards chaos and outlandishness as Palin: angry, with a desire to break something for the simple reason that they can.

Uber-conservative pundit Rush Limbaugh has played into the “death panel” rhetoric, beginning to compare President Obama to Adolf Hitler and his policies to Nazism. Like the music of the aforementioned G.G. Allin, the listener tends to know what they’re going to get when they tune in. The problem is there are real disaffected individuals who are starting to hum this hate symphony in their sleep. G.G. Allin has a place in music, but probably not on the Teen Choice awards. Mr. Limbaugh has the inalienable right to express his opinion to his listeners. However, he does not have the legal right to encourage or incite any individual to commit acts of vandalism or violence. With the spraying of a swastika on a Georgia congressman’s office, he is dangerously close to crossing that line.

In defense of Mr. Limbaugh and his millions of listeners, 99 percent who have no probable desire to cause violence, Democrats Nancy Pelosi and Steny Hoyer did nothing but fuel this fire by condemning American citizens at public town hall meetings. Bear in mind, true believers, there were many protesters from the advent of the Iraq war to the present day who were escorted or arrested exercising the same constitutional rights the “Birthers,” the “death panelists” and those who fear excessive government intrusion are using right now. They are finding themselves decrying the same tactics universally supported just a few years before. If we were to convert the actions of all the aforementioned players in this essay to a televised poker game, we would see a game filled with bluffing, lies and the proverbial card up the sleeve. There is no clear leader, only the continual raising of the ante with no expected winner. Any poker player will tell you a game isn’t worth playing if the integrity of its rules are called into question. Our politicians and pundits have exposed the 21st Century political game as a sham. They are not only going walking away, but running. The question remains what and who will they run to when it all goes down.

The heart of the American people should never be called into question. We are an exceptionally diverse group of individuals. Most of us take our neighbors at face value, believing that even if we disagree, we still wish the best for one another. Somewhere out there, we’re really not that different if we’re under the same flag of stripes and stars. Our leaders are the newest stars in our reality universe. It might have been ok when these political poker games were played behind closed doors. This sham of our government has exposed itself as willing to gamble with the health, freedom, intelligence and the collective integrity of the United States of America. It does not matter anymore if a health care bill is passed or defeated, when faith of citizens in good government is disintegrated and faith in the conscience of our fellow man becomes a measure of doubt, we all lose.

Silly Kids Games

“Too many people grow up. That’s the real trouble with the world, too many people grow up.” - Walt Disney.

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon.

Wake up! Wake up! The sun’s out! Wake up! Play with me! The sun’s out! Play with me! Most parents have heard these phrases or variations thereof; so many times, it would be impossible to tally them. They are the signal of the midget alarm clocks who welcome you back from dreamland. Despite what clichéd claptrap the gumball soup for the soul people will tell you, these wake up calls wear on the cheeriest of parents. “One more minute,” we tell them from under the covers. “Just five more minutes,” we lie to them for parents will take as much sleepytime as entertained toddlers will allow, which needless to say, is rarely more than the aforementioned five minutes. Such innocent requests they have: your presence and participation in games of imagination, the kind that came so easy when you were four and not thirty-four. Now it’s difficult to imagine reading the newspaper or getting ready for work without at least two cups of coffee, much less telling a story about crab robots with laser beaks.

Where did that childhood highway go to? Why is it so hard for some people (yours truly, included) to get back on that rocking horse and dream little dreams in reality? Maybe some of us are waiting for that advancement which takes the knight defending the castle into the realm of Monopoly, Rummy, baseball and games adults enjoy. Whatever the reason, there’s an obvious correlation to children’s knowledge of Dora the Explorer and Spongebob Squarepants compared to the adventures of a pirate on the high seas, fighting off the cousin of the great, white whale. Most of us do partake in these feats of high drama, pretending to be the giant, orange dragon snapping up the king’s men only to meet our demise with a direct hit from the castle cannon – and it is fun. “Again! Again!” they shout. “This time the dragon has five army bad guys.” The endless variations and enthusiasm can be more exhausting than a giant spreadsheet from the depths of hell but they succeed in taking you away from that desk and deadline – even for an hour – and put you back into a world where everything was possible in the confines of your living room.

But the phone rings and as a supposedly responsible adult, it requires answering. “It’ll be just a minute,” you say (because that’s what everyone tends to say) and saving the kingdom becomes a lesser priority than working out weekend plans. As you’re jabbering away, the adventure continuing without you, you notice the calendar citing bills to pay, a kitchen with dirty dishes and a certain instinct telling you there’s e-mails that need answering. One task glides into the next; time slips by until “Mommy! Daddy! Play with me!” “Just a few minutes”, you say (even though the time will significantly longer). As you notice piles of laundry which need washing, the path to that magical castle where the bad guys have just turned into zombies is as far away as that extra five minutes of slumber which never seems to happen. All these little things add up to what tends to be called responsibility and responsibility isn’t always the trait of a knight needed to save the kingdom.

“Daddy! Mommy! Look! I make a pretty picture.” The work of art isn’t on the Sesame Street coloring book but all over a little girl’s face. Resembling a two-year old William Wallace, red and white streaks cover a tiny smiling face looking for approval. As artistic as it may be, thoughts come into the mind of a grocery store trip and a little girl looking like a human color palate. Bathroom time. Facial artwork has no place in a coffee shop or in the produce aisle – or so we’ve been accustomed to believe. Most parents want to encourage the little artist latent in all our brains, but not when it defaces a Pink Floyd tour poster. They can be so funny, these little ones. But why can’t they understand they are other things needed to be done every day besides coloring dinosaurs? Unless a meteor makes a mortgage extinct, there’s always a different priority. “Look!” I took my pretty dress off!” Unless you want your daughter to star in a local production of “Showgirls”, certain mores and customs need to be taught and explained.

I began to notice my little ones picking up on the importance of being a grown up. “Can I talk to Mommy on the phone?” used to be such an innocuous request but has now turned into a mental debate of a kid holding an uber-expensive device, without which our lives might surely implode. I noticed myself holding my phone to my kids’ ears and pulling it away at the second inclination of a grab. I thought about all the times way back in the seventies how fun it was to dial a phone number and talk to Grandma or Grandpa. Now it seems we encourage children to the cell phone market by the sad means of denying them access to it so young. Maybe those retro rotary dial-ups aren’t so kitschy after all.

As kids get older, they start seeing the big, big world beyond the living room castle. They ask those deep questions which require equally deep thought responses. “How long until I’m 5’10’’, how long till I’m as big as you.” “A long time,” I’d reply, “maybe ten years.” They think further down the path: “When I’m you’re age, I’ll be tall like you – and I’ll never die.” Whoa! Since when did mortality come into this? Ignorance time, move on:

“When I’m your age, I’ll push you on the swing.”
“Will you still rock me to sleep like when I was a baby?”
“Will you still catch me?”
“When I’m your age, I’ll catch you.”
“When I’m your age, will the baby birds still play with me?”

As I thought about the last question, it occurred to me I don’t play enough. The castle is still there with dragons, robots and gorillas transported through time. They’re waiting for another adventure, all they need is a narrator. The kitchen table is still stacked with coloring books, crayons, markers and play-doh, designed to make the next great work of art, all they need is a curator. The bed is still full of pillow, blankets and animal friends, waiting for the next campout under the tent before the monsters attack. Eventually, many of these lifelong friends will come no more. They’ll sit beside the bed or inside a toybox, their stories told and function forgotten. Like in the song “Puff the Magic Dragon,” they cease their fearless roar.

The line from that classic song which always gets me philosophical is “A dragon lives forever, but not so little boys.” The song, depending on the interpretation, is usually about imagination or hallucinogenics. It was one of the songs my mom played to me (she was a big Peter, Paul and Mary fan) and sang to me as I went to sleep. As I became older, I thought of the dragon differently than most folk scholars have. The dragon, “Puff,” is not about childhood or dope; it’s about being a parent. Bringing these amazing worlds to life takes more than a little boy or girl: making things such as strings and ceiling wax takes more than one individual. It is a game parents play with their children. The tiniest, most insignificant object can be a key to the biggest adventure. A string can be anything: a rope, a bow or a lure to catch a hiding cat. Ceiling wax is sticky, can be rolled out or rolled up into a little ball. To a child, these things can be anything providing someone is there to help the scenario along.

But these stories and adventures do end. Kids hang out at the playground and play Jedi, princess and other things with their little friends. Eventually, Jackie Paper no longer wants to come play with the dragon but sits waiting for their own little rascals to come over and dig for treasure in the sandbox. So it the way of things; the way of growing from little people to big. For many of us, that moment hasn’t happened just yet. There is still the choice of laundry or an adventure. We can choose the computer or the news over another fight for the castle. Reality check: the news doesn’t change as much in a day as children do. Where have you gone, Captain Kangaroo? Our nation turns it’s forgotten childhood to you.


I’ve decided to set sail while I can for the castle. There is nothing the paper people in Washington do that is more important than eagle robots threatening to destroy the city of Townsville, nothing Joe Mauer can’t accomplish which isn’t more phenomenal than a rock supper of brain food. I’ve got my play-doh armed with purple sword robots. There’s a pillow waiting for a response filled with shock and awe. Crayons and markers at the ready, willing to fire smiley-faces. A cat needs to be captured by a blanket, a puzzle to be solved. There’s juice for a sippy-cup that needs pouring, a friend to be rescued and a blanket needing cuddling. I don’t need bills if the Care Bears are in charge. Let’s follow their lead in stride. Let’s care-a lot, love-a lot and be the best parents we can possibly be.

Aaron Fairbairn's Story: How Social Media Memorialized a Soldier

It was one of those rare moments that are only
possible if one experiences them as it happens. During the waning hours of Independence Day, a man named Aaron Fairbairn become the most popular topic on the social media website, Twitter. In a week dominated by coverage of two unstable humanoids, Twitter users took the time to thank Aaron Fairbairn for his service to our country. He was not a pop icon or an Alaskan maverick; he was more than that. He was a man who died serving his country. On the Fourth of July, Aaron was killed by a suicide bomber in Afghanistan. His stepfather, David Masters, wrote about Aaron’s death on Twitter. Seeing the post (or “tweet”) “they killed my son, Aaron!” is gut-wrenching. Instead of internalizing his grief and pain, Masters chose to share it with his followers on Twitter, making a simple request: “I'd like to see "Thank you, Aaron," show up on the Trending Topics for giving his life on Independence Day in Afghanistan.” What followed was not only an outpouring of respect and condolences, but proof that ordinary people can change the course of how modern media functions and what it chooses to cover.

There have been many skeptics regarding Twitter’s concept of expressing yourself in 140 characters or less, the majority of which were the “old guard” of traditional news media (see Maureen Dowd). The fallout of the Iranian election all but eradicated these prejudices. The Iranian government clamped down on internet use in an effort to suppress voter outrage. Unfortunately for them, many Iranians had the internet on their cell phones and used them to tell the world what their own government did not want anyone else to see. The mainstream media was forced to look at Twitter posts for information. Although 140 character “tweets” are almost impossible to vet in the traditional journalism sense, the media had little choice. Thousands of Twitter users showed their support for the Iranian people by tinting their profile green, a statement of solidarity that is still being used as of this writing. There is little doubt the mainstream media despised having to not only rely on bloggers, but individuals they could not potentially identify to gain information. Iran had expelled all foreign journalists, leaving the CNN’s and New York Times’ editors little choice but to turn to the technology which is slowly bringing about their demise.

The Twitter home page has a section called “trending topics;” a list of the most used words and phrases that shows what users are most discussing at the current moment. A user can click on any of these topics and receive a time-sensitive list of “tweets” on the selected subject. This function became an invaluable asset in understanding the debacle in Iran. David Masters probably had no idea that his request for his son would be as popular as it would eventually become. Twitter’s “trending topics” are currently unrestricted and unsponsored, meaning literally anything is possible as long as enough people write about it. Topics such as Sarah Palin, Michael Jackson and even the word “goodnight” were flourishing at the time of Masters’ request to honor his son. As in the case of Iran, Twitter users took in upon themselves to say what was really important to them. “Thank you Aaron” was in the middle of the pack when I spotted a “tweet” by “MichelleinCal”, an intelligent, funny woman who is a traditional conservative, something a certain person from Alaska would be well advised to take notes from. After seeing her posts with “ThankyouAaron,” I was immediately saddened for the loss of someone who gave his life to serve their country.

The loss of a soldier’s life become more important to Twitter users than Wimbledon results, Michael Jackson rumors and Sarah Palin sarcasms. It became a mission for many to see Aaron honored in a matter befitting an American hero. I may not remember where I was when Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” was number one on the charts, but I will always remember seeing “thank you Aaron” becoming the top Twitter topic. If there had been any doubt of the internet’s ability to bring people together for a cause they believe in, the appreciation of the service of Aaron Fairbairn should eliminate this misconception completely. “Thank you Aaron” was a moment those involved will never forget. In an era where there are few true heroes, the Twitterverse chose to honor the life of a young man. Without the filtering and bias of the mainstream media, the world is showing it’s true heart and soul through social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook. Maybe real people don’t want to watch and read hours of coverage on Michael Jackson. Maybe they want to hear stories about real people doing real things, making hard choices that affect all of us. These stories do not gain much ground in the meeting rooms of newspapers and networks, but it has become obvious stories like that of Aaron Fairbairn’s are indeed what the world wants to talk about.

Sadly, there has been negative feedback about Aaron’s story. Initially, several Twitter users attempted to call the story fabricated. Worse yet were attempts to discredit his stepfather, David Masters on the grounds he was using his son’s death to promote himself. It is pathetic that some people have such malice inside them to incite these allegations. Apparently to these asshats, making a name for yourself by hurting other people is the only way they believe they can get noticed. Granted, comments made on Twitter and the internet in general are protected by the First Amendment. Lies, rumors and gossip do get people noticed. They also can result in extreme negative reaction (ask Perez Hilton). Thankfully, Fox News vetted and confirmed Aaron’s story. Subsequently, other news outlets would follow suit. In a slow newsday and a better world, more mainstream media coverage would have been given to Aaron. Despite the positive blurb from Fox News, the media’s focus turned back on a more famous individual, but not a man who in any logical sense could be described as a hero.

One begins to wonder if this is a war. A war declared by the mainstream media versus Web 2.0. The old school media makes a living by reporting and manipulating the news. The supposedly unconnected, attention-grabbing bloggers and Twitterers are not making a living by reporting. They are reporting the news because they are living it. What people feel in real time stands in complete contrast to talking points, ratings graphs or whatever the editor or producer decides should be broadcast. The mainstream media appeals to their demographics and their bottom line. They are beholden to their advertisers and producers. Their supposed embrace of Twitter and Facebook is nothing but a façade designed to keep what little hold on the news they have left. Instead of running stories on Aaron Fairbairn and the half dozen plus other soldiers who died in the last week, the mainstream media kept its focus largely on Michael Jackson. The Jackson story is one the media had basic control of most information. Given his reclusive nature, it was unlikely any average citizen would garner a scoop that would upstage the very biased, controlled coverage. This journalistic debacle would culminate Tuesday, July 7th, with hours upon hours of coverage of Jackson’s memorial service. Many announcers seemed excited to have work, making one wonder if they were actually celebrating a funeral. It seemed July 7th would go down in history as the day the media died.

Aaron Fairbairn was not a celebrity, but he became in death more loved and respected than the uber-famous Jackson, whose memory will always be dogged with rumors and scandal. Aaron’s life and interests might remind you of people you know. His MySpace profile reads: “Hey my name is Aaron Faibairn, I am 20 and in the army. I like to ride dirtbikes, go muddin and all of that kind of stuff. One of my favorite things to do is work on my truck when I break it. I have a yamaha yz 125 I haven't got to ride it much because of work but i plan to go race it sometime.” There are many young men like Aaron, who love hanging with friends, playing with big toys and getting as dirty as they can. I wish I could have met him. Through MySpace, Facebook and Twitter, I kinda did. Making these connections meant more to me than a glossy funeral for a man few knew and even less understood. Given the choice of meeting either of these men, I’d rather go mudding with Aaron. Hopefully he’s rodding around on his Yamaha in the great beyond. Thank you, Aaron.

AIDS, Crack and Michael Jackson

“It takes a long time to put on my face, but I like how different it feels. I can be in a whole ‘nother place with it. Sometime I wear it home, and people – kids – I look out the back window of a car and let them see me. Whoa, they get frightened! They don’t know who or what it is! It’s a trip, it’s really a trip. It’s a secret; that’s it. I like that it’s a secret.” Michael Jackson discussing “The Wiz” to Timothy White in 1977.

God, that picture looks freaky. Michael Jackson’s mugshot, taken in November of 2003, taken due to felony child molestation charges (of which he was universally acquitted), shows the singer without any of the lighting, airbrushing, or accoutrements he had become accustomed to when he was photographed. The photograph shows a man who looks less like an icon and more like an extra in the “Thriller” video, if it was shot by George Romero or Danny Boyle. For one of the few times in his adult life, Jackson was in a situation he had little or no control over. His eyes are bug-eyed, lips unsure of their proper placement, it seems he had little knowledge or concept of why he was being arraigned and even less on how he should conduct himself. It may have only started to dawn upon the superstar that he was indeed guilty of one particular incident: being Michael Jackson.

The late Timothy White was able to land one of the last interviews with Michael Jackson before his ascent to mega-stardom with his 1979 album “Off the Wall.” White was given massive access to Jackson, including a luncheon in which Jackson displayed such bizarre behavior as eating his Caesar Salad with his fingers, oblivious to the “oily dressing accumulating on the tablecloth.” Jackson would also admit to not knowing Gerald Ford had been president. It became apparent to White that Jackson had little touch with the real world, except when it came to music and dance, of which he was a prodigy in the vein of Mozart. When asked if he was scared of being in a movie, Jackson responded “No, not at all. Honest to God, I’m not. I’m challenged. I love it. I’m not scared at all.”

Despite his childlike demeanor, Jackson had already developed the self-confidence that would propel him through three classic records, music videos, and tours, during which he developed some of the most amazing dance moves of his (or any) era. He also expressed interest in working with Quincy Jones, the man who would eventually produce “Off the Wall,” “Thriller,” and “Bad.” However, when distracted with other topics, Jackson revealed a bizarre affinity for rats, his inability to understand “Star Wars” and an obsessive interest in his Scarecrow character from “The Wiz.” Jackson told White: “Sometimes, when I come home with my makeup, I keep dancing in front of the mirrors here as the Scarecrow…When I get into it, I forget everything else but the Scarecrow’s world. It’s a feeling of peace. It’s just like…magic.”

Soon after this interview, White believed Michael Jackson’s management severely curtailed media access to the star, as his eccentricities could easily overshadow his music, as the 2003 documentary, “Living with Michael Jackson” would ultimately confirm. When focused on music and dance, Jackson had no peer. His videos for the 1979 “Off the Wall,” made before the advent of MTV, show the singer in a plain black and white tuxedo and beginning the formation of the dance moves which would excite millions. However, he had started the process of reinventing himself physically, a habit that became so addicting it would become an object of continual ridicule. Jackson’s death at age fifty represents the apotheosis of media hypocrisy. The same media which would continually cover everything “Wacko Jacko” now worships him. It seems this musical Julius Caesar will not be buried, but praised in his wake.

The success of both “Off the Wall” and “Thriller” netted Michael Jackson more money than anyone with a child-like mind could really comprehend. He also began an infatuation with being a hero of some sort. His personas in the “Beat It” and “Bad” videos showed him a cross between badass and peacemaker, a kind of dancing Superman. He further expanded his concept in the “Captain EO” film and the “Moonwalker” video game, the former being ironically executive produced by George Lucas. Although he would adapt many other guises, it seems Jackson was more comfortable in the idol-hero guise than any other. He took this to an extreme measure at the end of his 1991 “Black or White” video, when he violently destroys the majority of the street set. It is possible he was reacting to many of the anti-heroes of the time, trying to be as badass as many of the hair bands that were in constant MTV rotation during the era (insert ironic comment here).

Jackson spent much of the 1980’s working with charities, a fact that is still relatively unnoticed by the now-adoring media. Initially, his projects such as “We Are the World,” written for the USA for Africa album, we taken as universally generous gestures. As the 1980’s waned, his purchase and construction of the Neverland Ranch gained more scrutiny, as the majority of young children he asked to visit and stay there consisted of mostly young boys. Jackson seemed completely oblivious to this criticism except in song. Songs such as “Leave Me Alone,” “Stop Pressuring Me” and “Scream” addressed his antipathy towards the press. Yet Jackson refused to modify or control the behaviors which netted him such massive scrutiny. There is little doubt of Jackson’s affinity toward childhood and the wide-eyed hope and wonder which comes with it. It is hard to compare this attitude with that of the savvy musician and businessman who outbid his onetime friend Paul McCartney for the Beatles catalog. Was he really clueless or was he addicted to being two Michael Jacksons?

There is the performing Michael, the self-anointed “King of Pop” who causes sold out crowds of adults to scream wildly during his concerts. There is “Peter Pan” Michael, the real-life Willy Wonka who gave thousands of children a golden ticket to his private castle. The superhero who longed to protect and help guide child stars like Emmanuel Lewis and Macaulay Culkin possessed little knowledge on how to protect himself was becoming an addict to an ever-evolving identity he could never settle on. Part of growing up is discovering who you are; the person you present yourself to be in the public eye. Children tend to decide upon this in adolescence. They spin “The Breakfast Club” wheel and become some version of the athlete, the princess, the brain, the basket case or the criminal. For some tragic reason, Michael Jackson could never make this decision for himself. In the end, he would become all of them.

Jackson’s lack of real-world comprehension outside of music and dance would ultimately become terminal. His 1993 civil settlement for alleged child molestation caused the star to enter into a marriage with Lisa Marie Presley; a union now considered an ill-conceived business arrangement. Presley’s presence at Neverland gave the impression of normalcy, as did his “You Are Not Alone” video which showed both of them scantily clad and supposedly in love. Business marriages of this type were common in old Hollywood, designed to stop any investigation of what were then considered “alternative lifestyles.” The marriage was supposed to be mutually beneficial. Jackson could still be the Peter Pan of Neverland while Presley could milk his massive genius for the music success which eluded her. Unfortunately, the decade was the 1990’s and not the 1930’s or 50’s. The marriage ended in a few years, leaving Jackson another void in his life.

Jackson entered into another ill-fated marriage with Debbie Rowe, who would bear the first two of his three children. The second union dissolved as quickly as the first, putting him back into the media spotlight with mounting “Wacko Jacko” coverage. Jackson attempted to escape the publicity in the only was the businessman knew how: a series of concerts at Madison Square Garden in 2001 celebrating his thirty years as a solo artist. The concerts, as always, were phenomenal. His performance of his classic hit “Billie Jean” showed he hadn’t lost a step, despite entering his early forties. During this time, Jackson would experience the first commercial disappointment of his career. The album “Invincible” sold poorly. The videos showed an artist searching for identity which was compounded that he had little grasp on reality itself. He never stopped inviting children to Neverland or on tour, despite incessant coverage of his actions. Like a child, he never thought of the potential ramifications or if he did, was comfortable in his own mind that he was doing nothing wrong.

It is likely Michael Jackson did know the police watched him everyday. He also knew he was doing nothing legally wrong. He placed the same trust in children as they did of him; an innocent longing to be in a place he was denied by his overbearing, abusive father. It would be hard for a person such as Jackson to deny and distrust the affection of kids. It is likely in 1993 he committed minimally the crime of indecent exposure. After he became a media magnet for weirdness, it is harder to believe the 2003 accuser had more than financial gripes against him. It was easy to believe he did it: he was Michael Jackson – King of Weird. Yet his behavior at the trial, baby dangling and calling his third child “Blanket” on TV did little to help the man. In the end, addiction overcame any sense of reality he had left.

As Michael Jackson entered into a self-imposed exile for much of the last decade, it seems he finally found the childhood affection that he had been denied. He did little performing but the headlines by his posthumous media friends never subsisted. Having his own children may have given the “King of Pop” a sense of peace and fulfillment, but the call of the limelight still beckoned. Whether it was to appease debtors or his millions of fans, Jackson decided to embark on one more great tour. What exactly caused his death weeks before his London engagement began may never be solved. What is known is that a complex, troubled man with a schizophrenic identity had little to lose and much to gain. He was a person who longed to be a hero, a “smooth criminal,” a genius, the best dancer in the universe and ultimately became a basket case due to the media coverage he helped create. Michael Jackson didn’t start the fire, but he did little (if anything) to fight it.

Copyright 2009 Adam Koeppe

Timothy White's Michael Jackson interview published in "Rock Lives"

"We Have Been Called Rock, Punk, Garage and Surf. I Guess We Do a Little of Each." Dal Winslow of the Trashmen Interviewed!

Rock and Roll music has amassed a rich mythology in its 55-plus year history. Even dating back to famed bluesman Robert Johnson’s supposed “deal with the devil” in the 1920’s, there has been a concerted attempt by record labels and managers to package the artist in a certain way. The Rolling Stones could barely play in 1962 when they issued their first single, a cover of Chuck Berry’s “Come On.” The Stones were fortunate in two respects: they were signed to a major label, London Records and had a savvy manager, Andrew Oldham, who packaged the group as ‘bad boys.” Not every artist receives the type of break the Rolling Stones received. For every Andrew Oldham, Brian Epstein or Malcolm McLaren, there are thousands of labels and managers interested only in the quick dollar return, putting the interests of the artist aside and choosing to market songs as commodities, not works of art.

For the majority of the Trashmen’s 47-year history, they have been saddled with the “goofy great” or “one-hit wonder” stereotype, a stereotype promoted extensively by SOMA Records owner, Amos Heilicher. Although “Surfin’ Bird hit number three on the Billboard charts in 1963, little was done by Heilicher or the band’s manager, George Garrett, to promote the band beyond the success on the initial single. Unlike other rock and roll artists, the Trashmen have been granted a second lease of music life, which began with the band gaining control of their recordings in 1991, reaching new heights in 2008 after “Surfin’ Bird” was featured on the comedy series “Family Guy.” This exposure resulted in “Surfin’ Bird” reaching #8 on iTunes and cracking the top fifty in Britain. Trashmen bassist Dal Winslow recently granted me an interview, in which he discusses the triumphs, disappointments and beurocracies of a band that may yet to have reached its peak after close to five decades in the music industry.

What was the band’s reaction to the use of “Surfin’ Bird” in the “Family Guy” episode “I Dream of Jesus?” How did this collaboration come about?
“This was actually the result of an article from MOJO magazine out of the UK in early 2007. It listed us as one of the top 50 Punk/Garage bands of all time. Shortly after Weird Al (Yankovic) came out in Rolling Stone with ‘Surfin Bird’ is one of the top all time rock hits. Fox picked this up and decided to do an episode on the song. We really did not hear anything until much later, actually a week before it was aired. We never thought the whole show would be dedicated to the song and never imagined the response on the downloads.”

There is a lot of great footage on You Tube of the Trashmen's 2008 tour. How is the band received there? What kind of venues are you playing? How is it different from the United States in terms of fans and overall reaction?
“The response has been overwhelming. The venues are everything from festivals to small 400+ clubs. Every gig has been packed or sold out. Compared to the U.S., if we did the same gig as Medina (Minnesota) in Europe, it would have been packed to the rafters and the crowd would range in the 21-35 year age group. I think the song is hitting a new group of people that were not aware of it. The other thing is that in Europe we are regarded as ‘legends’ and it brings in the new crowd.”

The Trashmen avoided the stereotype of “one-hit wonder” in Europe, making the band one of the few artists from the sixties that have managed to eclipse the image promoted by their original label, SOMA Records. Listening to any Trashmen record shows the band equal to any rock and roll band of the era in terms of talent and ability. Signing to Amos Heilicher’s label proved to be a mistake which cost the group not only money, but also the chance to develop artistically like the Rolling Stones or Beach Boys. Winslow explains:

“At the time Steve (Wahrer) and I were disappointed since we had visions of going to a professional studio in L.A. and working with more experienced engineers. At Kay Bank (studio), we had good engineers but it was more learn as you go. I think a good example of what could have been was Bobby Vee. He signed with Liberty who promoted him to the fullest.” Winslow believes the SOMA signing was the band’s biggest disappointment: “Giving the song (Surfin’ Bird) to SOMA instead of Columbia or RCA, which were courting us at the time. SOMA added nothing as far as assistance with recording, new ideas, etc. They seemed to be in it strictly for the short haul cash.”

Amos Heilicher, the “Godfather of the Twin Cities record business,” possessed a habit of promoting himself ahead of the artists on his SOMA record label. Despite “Surfin’ Bird” being the highest charting hit his label would ever garner, Heilicher would continue to describe the song, in an interview with Jon Bream, as “the worst record in the world…I laugh every time I hear it…it’s that bad.” The moxie was typical of Heilicher, who “was always there to take kudos from the press,” according to Winslow. Distribution of “Surfin’ Bird” was the sole saving grace from the Trashmen’s relationship with SOMA, Winslow believes: “They did that well, in 17 different countries and multiple labels. Soma and Garrett paid for recording time. Other than that they were useless. We got more promotion from our booking agent, Jimmy Thomas, out of Luverne MN.”

It’s fairly inconceivable for a band as talentless as Heilicher believed the Trashmen to be to not only have a top five hit, but also have that same song be enjoyed by multiple generations over four decades. Winslow states: “We were pretty popular in the cities and surrounding areas before the record.” If the Trashmen had not signed to SOMA, their path might have been similar to their Minnesota contemporary, Bobby Vee, who as previously mentioned, signed to a major label, Liberty Records. Vee’s first big hit, “The Night Has a Thousand Eyes,” hit number three in 1962, but he went five years before his next top ten, “Come Back When You Grow Up,” also charted number three in 1967. Liberty Records stuck with Vee through this gap, as they did with instrumental group the Ventures. Although SOMA Records, cast away the Trashmen in the sixties, the band possessed a song that is now on the iPod of many young people who love rock and roll.

Amos Heilicher also proved to be a cheapskate when the Trashmen were asked to appear on Dick Clark’s American Bandstand. The result would not only a triumph of adversity, but a testament to the Trashmen’s drummer, the late Steve Wahrer, the original singer of “Surfin’ Bird.” Winslow “took Steve to the airport and picked him up when he returned the same day. Dick and Soma would not pay for the whole group to go. Steve had a great time and it is still being shown on You Tube. He was used to hiding behind the drums and not doing front work. He was very nervous when they told him he would be alone on camera.” Steve Wahrer performed a maniacal version of “Surfin’ Bird,” doing ‘the bird” for the entire duration of the song. Exhausted afterward, Wahrer gave a charming interview to Clark. His innocence and enthusiasm can resonate with anyone from a small town wanting to make it big in the city. Although Wahrer passed away in 1989, his vocal on “Surfin’ Bird” is as instantly recognizable as any in the history of rock and roll.

Although songwriting credits to “Surfin’ Bird” were ultimately given to R&B/Doo-Wop group, the Rivingtons, the origin of the Trashmen version had little to do with the songs originally titled “Papa Oom Mow Mow” and “The Bird’s the Word.”

Dal Winslow: “We had not heard of the Rivingtons when we first heard this song. A band from Wisconsin performed “Bird is the Word” as we thought it would be a great idea to change it up and add it to our list. We started playing it at dances and it became the most requested song. George Garrett agreed to pay for all recording and be our “personal manager. He cut the deal with Soma for distribution. The studio (Kay Bank) was not familiar with rock, only radio spots or small jazz groups. “Surfin’ Bird” was recorded in two segments, specifically to let Steve catch his breath. All others were done live. We did overlay the background vocals…there was only a 16 track recorder at the time.”

The success of “Surfin Bird” was used to full advantage by Amos Heilicher and George Garrett. “Since our song and album were so successful,” Winslow states, “they had musicians beating a path to their door to make them a hit. I’m sure they made a ton of cash off these groups. It only took a few months to see the only thing George was managing was the money coming in, He really never did any promotions.” One of these groups, Gregory Dee and the Avanties, performed a spirited song called “Olds Mo William,” which used a Steve Waher-esque “Do the bird!” to bridge into the chorus. The single was a fast-paced, frenetic shout out number. “It was kinda flattering,” Winslow said. “At least it was original. Most of the groups that came to record were doing covers, and not as good as the originals.” An underrated song if there ever was one, “Olds Mo William” was Soma’s best attempt at recreating the magic of “Surfin’ Bird.” Soma Records did manage to produce one more great single, “Liar Liar” by the Castaways, which hit #12 in 1965.

The British Invasion and psychedelic music began to dominate the 60’s music scene around 1965, leaving bands like the Trashmen with a changing audience which preferred to listen and inhale music rather than dance to it. Instrumental bands like the Ventures managed to maintain their popularity for most of the decade, largely due to the support and promotion of their record company, Liberty Records. Without this backing, the Trashmen saw their audience dwindle, deciding to disband in 1967. Winslow saw “a different response to our music. The crowds were not dancing and wanted war songs and message tunes. The blues and James Brown also started to become more popular. As we started to play clubs we decided that it was time to bail. None of us wanted to become lounge lizards.”

The Trashmen left the music scene and began their careers as normal, ordinary Americans. “We all worked for corporate America, including investment firms, manufacturing and banking.” Drummer Steve Wahrer continued to perform, using the Trashmen’s “name for a short time and then transitioned into other groups,” stated Winslow. Time passed, yet for some reason, “Surfin’ Bird” continued to be played on the radio and eventually covered by the Ram ones and the Cramps. The song was also used in the classic Stanley Kubrick film, “Full Metal Jacket.” Despite two decades of longevity and accolades, “Surfin’ Bird” was still being licensed by Amos Heilicher in budget compilations of “goofy greats” and “wacky wonders.” Ironically, some of the worst songs of the sixties era, “Harem Holiday” and “Animal Instinct,” were recorded by the “King of Rock and Roll”, Elvis Presley.

Presley’s record label, RCA, and his management managed to prevent any of these musical abominations from being associated with the mythology of the man who gave the world “Heartbreak Hotel.” Amos Heilicher, on the other hand, had no issue with placing “Surfin’ Bird” next to Alvin and the Chipmunks or Sheb Wooley’s “The Purple People Eater.” This decision for the easy dollar led to the misconception of the Trashmen as a novelty act and not the recognition of the group as a top band of their era. Imagine, if you will, the Beatles being promoted on “Yellow Submarine” as their magnum opus, without any context of the band making a song for kids. Perception is a big argument in how an individual sees the world and the things that surround them. If a song is marketed as a classic, it will be considered under those stipulations. If it is sold as a joke, it will be taken thusly so.

After 28 years of Soma distribution, the Trashmen decided enough was enough: “In 1991 we finally got fed up with hearing our song used and went to court to gain licensing rights,” Winslow stated. “At the time, it was being licensed illegally by Musicland, a division of Amos’ empire. The ironic thing was they had no contract to do so. The only contract that ever came across our desk was a document on management by Soma and Garrett. This was never signed since Tony (Andreason, the band’s lead guitarist) was only 20 at the time and his father said he would not sign it. In retrospect, a great decision. The (court) declared we had full ownership of all masters and any distribution or licensing going forward. We now receive compensation for any time the song (“Surfin’ Bird”) is used.”

Since this verdict, The Trashmen have seen a renaissance that is incomparable to any artist from their era, propelling the group from a funny footnote to a band worthy of induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. They are about to embark on a second European tour, after performing a concert at the “Back to the 50’s” Minnesota Street Rod Association show in St. Paul. During this time they will see fans old and new, young and old. To some they will be legends, to others a passport to an infinite memory of youth and innocence. Cars and bars, girls and tilt-a-whirls. To others, for a tiny moment of an hour, there is a band. A great band. A band that celebrates all that is great about rock and roll music. The persistence and diligence inside every kid when they pick up a guitar, trying to get the Chuck Berry lick down until it is as sweet as sugar on cereal. The Trashmen are the code word for belief. What’s the word? Don’t you know the word? It doesn’t need to be said. We all know…

Pearl Jam - Rock and Roll's Latest "Free Agent" Band Fights On

On June 1st, Billboard.com confirmed that rock and roll stalwarts Pearl Jam will be partnering with Target Corporation for the release of their upcoming album, “Backspacer.” Pearl Jam’s alliance with Target is different than artists such as AC/DC and Bruce Springsteen, who gave uber-discounter Wal-Mart exclusive rights to album distribution. Pearl Jam will not just be selling their album through Target, but also through a variety of other outlets, both physical and via the internet. Manager Kelly Curtis stated “Target was cool enough to realize little independent record stores are not their competition,” implying Pearl Jam will still promote new material at your local record store, providing one still exists. As part of the Target deal, Pearl Jam agreed to make a commercial for the Bull’s-eye franchise, a decision that will have many music fans crying “sell-out” from a band that refused to make music videos for seven years. Given the current instability of the music industry, Pearl Jam should not be accused of “selling out” but be applauded for “selling in.”

For the better part of the 1990’s, Pearl Jam waged a one-band war against Ticketmaster, the ticket-selling giant whose monopoly on concerts continues to this day. The band paid a heavy price for their protests, as they found booking arenas difficult if not downright impossible without the consent of Ticketmaster. Many arenas had (and still have) exclusive agreements with Ticketmaster, leaving Pearl Jam essentially blackballed from many areas. In 1998, Pearl Jam conceded the battle and began selling concerts via the evil, fee-happy empire. During the same period, the band released its first music video since “Jeremy”, the iconic single from the band’s debut album “Ten.” “Do the Evolution” was an animated video directed by Spawn creator Todd McFarlane and received substantial MTV play. These changes could be interpreted as the band caving in to pressure from their record label, Sony, but for all accounts the band did not get along with them.

The best answer for Pearl Jam’s business decisions is not found in music, but in baseball. In 1969, outfielder Curt Flood became the first player to challenge Major League Baseball’s reserve clause, which contractually bound a player to the team they currently played with. A stellar player with multiple All-Star Game appearances, Flood put his professional career on the line by refusing to play the 1970 baseball season. Flood took his case all the way the U.S. Supreme Court, who ultimately ruled against him. The mental and physical strain on Curt Flood during this period was tremendous and he retired after a brief stint with the Washington Senators in 1971.

Flood’s failure to successfully overturn the reserve clause inspired two other All-Stars, Dave McNally and Andy Messersmith, to make another attempt at challenging the status quo. Both pitchers played the 1975 season without a contract, arguing that they do now “owe” their service to their current team beyond fulfillment of their contractual obligation. This time, lower courts ruled in favor of the ballplayers. Major League Baseball gave in after several attempts at appealing the decision. The demise of the reserve clause led to the free agent market, in which players can sign with any team they choose. McNally chose to retire, while Messersmith signed with Ted Turner’s Atlanta Braves for a ton of money. Like Curt Flood before him, the strain on Messersmith led to several sub-par seasons before he finally retired in 1979.

The free agent market flourished after the 1975 decision, allowing baseball teams such as the New York Yankees to stock their roster with great players and essentially “buy” world championships in 1977 and 1978. Major League ballplayers would control much of how the game was financially played until 1994, when a player’s strike ended the baseball season, canceling the World Series. In 2002, an attempt at another strike was met by fan hostility, with beers, baseballs and profanities being thrown on the field during the final games on August 30th before an agreement was reached. Fan tolerance for rich teams and players had reached a breaking point, resulting in an agreement that has made baseball universally competitive for the first time in its history.

Throughout most of the 1990’s Pearl Jam was the music industry’s Curt Flood. Their anti-corporate stance was applauded and supported by their millions of fans but their decision to refuse to make music videos and play ball with the evil empire of Ticketmaster prevented the band from gaining or even sustaining their fan base. It is understandable the band’s record label, Sony, would not spend considerable PR time and money on an artist not willing to play the industry game. In the 2000’s, a record buyer would rarely see a big promotional effort to support the band, despite loyal fan allegiance and a history which places Pearl Jam among the best rock and roll acts in history. Although their concerts are still well-attended and indeed phenomenal, Sony seemed more interested in getting behind artists who perform the typical dog and pony show. The music industry has changed rapidly during this decade, resulting in inferior but photogenic artists being pushed in an unwilling public’s ear.

The propensity of downloading (legal or illegal) has resulted in several established artists to become the music equivalent of “free agents.” Radiohead’s decision to release their last album, “In Rainbows,” on a “pay what you want” basis online, surprisingly resulted in platinum physical sales. Subsequently, Trent Reznor’s latest Nine Inch Nails release, “Ghosts I-IV,” was offered for free download but record buyers were given unprecedented alternate options, including autographed copies if the purchaser was willing to pay for it. Although Pearl Jam had yet to enter this brave new world, their efforts a decade before set the stage for Radiohead’s and Nine Inch Nails’ success. Pearl Jam was the first major artist to allow and encourage bootlegging of their live concerts. The band went so far as to record every show during their 2000 tour and release the double-CD’s at a discount price. Bootleg concerts were a prime mover in the underground music industry until the advent of the internet. Three-hour Bruce Springsteen concerts would sell for sixty bucks at record shows, despite that they were made for five bucks in somebody’s basement. But access is everything, and music fans were more than willing to pay for a great show with good sound that made you feel like you were there. Pearl Jam’s release of it’s entire live tour delivered the first blow to bootleggers without a single legal action. Soon after, CD burning and internet downloading leveled these once astronomical prices. Pearl Jam’s live albums gave die-hard fans what they wanted, albeit with a little overkill.

The 21st Century has not been kind to Pearl Jam, whose fan base has dwindled further and unlike Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails, have yet to gain interest from young music fans. Their partnership with Target should be seen as the band “selling in” rather than “selling out.” There is little argument Pearl Jam would have been one of the biggest acts in rock and roll history if they did not challenge the system. Unlike the late Curt Flood, Pearl Jam still has power over their destiny. If the band’s new record and commercial for Target reignites interest in the group from the public, they could experience a resurgence seldom seen in the music industry. If there is one thing to know about Pearl Jam, is they are dedicated and persistent. Don’t count them out yet.

If Pearl Jam’s gamble is even somewhat successful, they may pave the way for younger artists to break from their labels while they are still Billboard and iTunes darlings. There is yet to be a Reggie Jackson or Alex Rodriguez in the music industry, who became free agents at the peak of their careers. Imagine if Eminem, Black Eyed Peas or even the Jonas Brothers spurned record labels and took charge of their marketing and promotion. Many music critics such as Bob Leftsetz have predicted the demise of traditional music industry practices for some time. It remains to be seen when and exactly how the final blow will be delivered. When it happens, the artists who benefit from the fallout should thank artists like Pearl Jam, whose anti-corporate stance, incredible live shows and refusal to conform are more than enough qualifications to enter the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.